Suppose there was a black ox and a white ox yoked by a single harness or yoke. Would it be right to say that the black ox is the yoke of the white ox, or the white ox is the yoke of the black ox?
No, householder. The black ox is not the yoke of the white ox, nor is the white ox the yoke of the black ox. The yoke there is the single harness or yoke that they’re yoked by.
In the same way, the eye is not the fetter of sights, nor are sights the fetter of the eye. The fetter there is the desire and greed that arises from the pair of them.
The ear …nose …tongue …body …mind is not the fetter of ideas, nor are ideas the fetter of the mind. The fetter there is the desire and greed that arises from the pair of them.
Saṁyojanasutta: The Fetter (SN 41.1),
translation by Ven. Bhikkhu Sujato
I want to tell you about kāma. This is a broad term, and it cannot be translated with just one word. The word kāma denotes desire, craving, passion, sexual desires, love. It also refers to the objects of our desire. All these meanings are conveyed by the word kāma.
The Buddha says that there are two types of kāma: kilesakāmā and vatthukāmā. Kilesa means mental defilements; accordingly, kilesakāmā refers to greed, desire, and wanting that arise in the mind. Vatthukāmā refers to the object onto which our desire is projected. It is what we want, what we crave, what we love.
To explain it differently, vatthukāmā are the pleasant sights we want to see, the pleasant sounds we want to hear, the pleasant smells, tastes, tactile sensations, and mental objects we desire.
What does a person like to see? Beauty, or what brings them pleasure. This differs from person to person: for some, beauty is flowers, for others, it is animals. For example, for a mother, joy is seeing her children, and for her, children are kāma. For children, parents are kāma. All this is vatthukāmā.
The Buddha says that if a person gets kāma, gets what they want, they rejoice in it, and this is the trap of the world: this is why we exist here. We want to get something, and when we get it, we rejoice. For example, we rejoice in seeing a loved one. Also, when a person does not get what they want, it brings them suffering and sorrow. And we cannot stop this sorrow: we have a craving to get something, but we do not get it, and therefore suffering arises.
The Buddha compares craving to being struck by a poisoned dart; therefore, when a person has more desires, they have more suffering.
Craving has been called a dart by the Monk [Buddha]. The poisonous humour of ignorance shows its disturbedness by desire and greed and by ill-will.
Sunakkhattasutta: With Sunakkhatta (MN 105),
translation by Ven. Nyanamoli Thera
People desire to get what will bring them sensual pleasures, and through this, they want to find joy, tranquility, and contentment. But what happens in reality? In reality, it is the opposite: the more desire there is to obtain sensual pleasures, the more sorrow there is. It is as if it is some kind of law. Like the scales: the more we put on one side, the higher the other side rises. The more we place in the cup of craving, the higher our suffering rises.
Therefore, if a person truly wants peace and happiness, they must eliminate kāma, remove the dart of kāma from their mind. There is no other way. The desire to obtain kāma is suffering.
Let’s consider why the Buddha says that kāma is suffering. In the Teachings, there are three concepts:
- assāda — the satisfaction accompanying the obtaining of kāma;
- ādīnava — the suffering accompanying the obtaining of kāma;
- nekkhamma — renunciation.
We are in saṃsāra because we want to obtain assāda, satisfaction. But if we want to obtain assāda, we will have to endure a lot of suffering. For example, we obtain assāda through the tongue, by experiencing a pleasant taste. When pleasant food touches our tongue, we get some satisfaction. Before that, to get this food, we have to work, earn money, buy the food, cook it, then wash the dishes, and so on. If this food is unhealthy, we can get sick. And later, over time, we want to get it again, and we go through this cycle again. Not getting it, we begin to suffer. And each person has countless such cycles of satisfying needs. By not satisfying them, we all suffer. If a person, in satisfying their craving, breaks precepts, the accompanying suffering multiplies many times over.
In the Teachings, there is a concept called kāma dāha, the heat of kāma. This means that when a person has a desire, a heat arises inside them, and it is a very unpleasant sensation; no one wants to feel this. Therefore, we all want to get what we desire to cool this heat inside. Because of this, people do many unwholesome things to obtain kāma that will bring them satisfaction: they steal, kill, lie, cheat, etc. And after that, they suffer again! Due to unwholesome actions, people can be reborn in unfortunate realms.
Seeing the heat of kāma, some people try to overcome it by going to the other extreme — the extreme of asceticism, beginning to torture themselves: sitting by a fire in the heat, bathing in a river in the cold, and so on. But it is impossible to overcome kāma in this way.
Because of the desire to obtain pleasures, we cannot leave saṃsāra. The Buddha says that we suffer in saṃsāra for an infinite time. Renunciation, nekkhamma, arises when a person truly sees the enormous amount of suffering they experience from the desire for satisfaction. Then the desire to obtain these kāma decreases. And then they let go, they relax. It becomes easy for them to keep their precepts.
“Mendicants, transmigration has no known beginning. No first point is found of sentient beings roaming and transmigrating, shrouded by ignorance and fettered by craving. What do you think? Which is more: the flow of tears you’ve shed while roaming and transmigrating for such a very long time — weeping and wailing from being united with the unloved and separated from the loved — or the water in the four oceans?”
“As we understand the Buddha’s teaching, the flow of tears we’ve shed while roaming and transmigrating is more than the water in the four oceans.”
“Good, good, mendicants! It’s good that you understand my teaching like this. The flow of tears you’ve shed while roaming and transmigrating is indeed more than the water in the four oceans. For a long time you’ve undergone the death of a mother …father …brother …sister …son …daughter …loss of relatives …loss of wealth …or loss through illness. From being united with the unloved and separated from the loved, the flow of tears you’ve shed while roaming and transmigrating is indeed more than the water in the four oceans.
Why is that? Transmigration has no known beginning. …This is quite enough for you to become disillusioned, dispassionate, and freed regarding all conditions.”
Assusutta: Tears (SN 15.3), translation by Ven. Bhikkhu Sujato
The Buddha teaches that there are two levels of getting rid of kāma: vikkhambhana and samuccheda. Vikkhambhana means temporary elimination (through suppression): it involves keeping the precepts, developing samādhi, and guarding the sense faculties. Samuccheda means complete elimination of kāma.
Both mentioned methods aim at liberation from kāma, the stimuli of sensual pleasure that come from the external world. We believe that in the external world there are objects — such as things, people, food — that bring sensual pleasures. However, these same objects will also bring us sorrow, so we need to free ourselves from them. But in the Buddha’s Teaching, another path is described. As I mentioned earlier, there are two forms of kāma: vatthukāmā and kilesakāmā. According to the Buddha’s Teaching, it is not necessary to renounce all vatthukāmā — the objects of desire, but kilesakāmā — the cravings and greed generated by internal attachments and delusions.
What can we do about this? The very first thing we need to do is correct our views regarding vatthukāmā. Vatthukāmā are the things that will bring us sensual pleasures. What are our views regarding vatthukāmā? “This is a treasure,” “I can’t live without this,” “I must get this,” “everyone wants this, and I want it too,” “if I get this, I will be happy.” These can be money, work, a house, power, relationships.
First of all, we need to change our views: we need to think differently. The Buddha teaches us: think of it as a deadly poisonous snake. The snake can bite us at any moment, so we need to be very careful.
“Suppose there were an extremely poisonous snake; and then a man came who wanted to live, not to die, and shrank from pain, what do you think, Sunakkhatta, would that man give that extremely poisonous snake his hand or his thumb when he knew that even if he were bitten by it he would incur death or deadly suffering?”
“No, venerable sir.”
“So too, when a bhikkhu practises restraint in the six bases of contact, is without the essentials of existence, liberated with the exhaustion of the essentials of existence through seeing the essentials of existence as the root of suffering, it is not possible that he would employ his body or bestir his mind about any essential of existence.”
Sunakkhattasutta: With Sunakkhatta (MN 105),
translation by Ven. Nyanamoli Thera
Many more comparisons are given in the Potaliyasutta (To Potaliya, MN 54, all translations by Ven. Bhikkhu Bodhi).
Grass torch
“Householder, suppose a man took a blazing grass torch and went against the wind. What do you think, householder? If that man does not quickly let go of that blazing grass torch, wouldn’t that blazing grass torch burn his hand or his arm or some other part of his body, so that he might incur death or deadly suffering because of that?”
“Yes, venerable sir.”
“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a grass torch by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom, he avoids the equanimity that is diversified, based on diversity, and develops the equanimity that is unified, based on unity, where clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.”
When we hold a grass torch in our hand, the fire gradually approaches us. After using the torch, we should let it go, otherwise, we will get burned. However, we usually stubbornly continue to hold it, not wanting to let it go. Why do we do this? This happens because of our ignorance, because we have different views. Views that we cannot let it go, that it is the source of our happiness, that we cannot do without it. Our attachment is due to incorrect views, due to ignorance.
Charcoal pit
“Householder, suppose there were a charcoal pit deeper than a man’s height full of glowing coals without flame or smoke. Then a man came who wanted to live and not to die, who wanted pleasure and recoiled from pain, and two strong men seized him by both arms and dragged him towards that charcoal pit. What do you think, householder? Would that man twist his body this way and that?”
“Yes, venerable sir. Why is that? Because that man knows that if he falls into that charcoal pit, he will incur death or deadly suffering because of that.”
“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a charcoal pit by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.”
People do not understand that this desire, this craving, this passion becomes the cause of their suffering, turning their lives into hell. They cannot understand that these actions drag them into a charcoal pit. Therefore, the Buddha says that sensual pleasures are like a charcoal pit: only fire awaits us there.
Look at how many people make this mistake. In this life, they create hell for themselves here. They cannot live peacefully, they cannot live with kindness. And because of attachment, craving, hatred, and anger, they create hell, and after this life, they are reborn in lower realms. People do not understand that it has always been this way, and it will always be this way.
Skeleton
“Householder, suppose a dog, overcome by hunger and weakness, was waiting by a butcher’s shop. Then a skilled butcher or his apprentice would toss the dog a well hacked, clean hacked skeleton of meatless bones smeared with blood. What do you think, householder? Would that dog get rid of his hunger and weakness by gnawing such a well hacked, clean hacked skeleton of meatless bones smeared with blood?”
“No, venerable sir. Why is that? Because that was a skeleton of well hacked, clean hacked meatless bones smeared with blood. Eventually that dog would reap weariness and disappointment.”
“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a skeleton by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom, he avoids the equanimity that is diversified, based on diversity, and develops the equanimity that is unified, based on unity, where clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.”
If you throw such a bone to a dog, it will not let other dogs approach it and will fight with them because it smells the bone and thinks it will be satisfied with it. The dog does not understand that there is no meat on the bone and that it will bring nothing but suffering.
Piece of meat
“Householder, suppose a vulture, a heron, or a hawk seized a piece of meat and flew away, and then vultures, herons, and hawks pursued it and pecked and clawed it. What do you think, householder? If that vulture, heron, or hawk does not quickly let go of that piece of meat, wouldn’t it incur death or deadly suffering because of that?”
“Yes, venerable sir.”
“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a piece of meat by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.”
Dream
“Householder, suppose a man dreamt about lovely parks, lovely groves, lovely meadows, and lovely lakes, and on waking he saw nothing of it. So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a dream by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.”
Loan
“Householder, suppose a man borrowed goods on loana fancy carriage and fine-jewelled earringsand preceded and surrounded by those borrowed goods he went to the marketplace. Then people, seeing him, would say: ‘Sirs, that is a rich man! That is how the rich enjoy their wealth!’ Then the owners, whenever they saw him, would take back their things. What do you think, householder? Would that be enough for that man to become dejected?”
“Yes, venerable sir. Why is that? Because the owners took back their things.”
“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to borrowed goods by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.”
If a person starts thinking this way, their views change. They use kāma, they live here, but they understand the danger. They understand that craving is bad, that attachment is bad. Knowing this, knowing this danger, they use kāma but protect themselves and their mind.
Craving, passion, and suffering are the same everywhere; there is no place where suffering is better. Parting is the same everywhere, even in divine realms. The Buddha teaches that there is suffering everywhere due to kāma. Therefore, if a person knows this, if they have the right views, if they practice morality, generosity, and if they develop the mind, it helps them to some extent to get rid of kāma, for some time (vikkhambhana). This will be their protection from this poisoned dart.
We must take the precepts, keep them, and practicethis will bring us peace. There is no other happiness like peace. Other happiness, as we think, is the acquisition of kāma, sensual pleasures. When we get something, the mind rejoices, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but we must eliminate our inner craving, calm it down. With the calming of inner craving, a person finds peace, and that is great happiness. Therefore, we speak of nekkhamma — the practice of renunciation.
Understanding the practice of renunciation requires very deep contemplation. If a person thinks correctly about kāma, this is already the practice of renunciation. People might mistakenly think that the practice of renunciation means giving up all things, giving up everything, but in reality, this alone does not help, because the defilements remain in the mind, and the person continues to suffer and think about everything they gave up.
If a person wants to practice renunciation, wants to give up everything, they need to change their views. For this, they need to think differently. We used to think that these kāma would bring us happiness: “I want to get this, I can’t live without it,” “the more kāma I have, the happier I will be.” That was our view. If we change it, if we understand that this is not the case, if we think that it is dangerous, then we begin to practice nekkhamma: the more craving, passion, and desire I have, the greater my suffering will be; this kāma is like poison, like a deadly venomous snake, like honey on a razor’s edgeit is very dangerous. From changing our views, renunciation arises, and from this, a person begins to live differently. Notice the difference: it is not always necessarily the refusal of the external object, it is the change of our internal attitude towards the object.
Let’s consider an example: imagine that there is some very delicious food in front of us. It looks very attractive, smells very good, instantly causing a feeling of hunger. But then someone comes up and warns us: “Don’t eat it, there’s poison in it.” What happens then? The desire to eat it will disappear because we understand that if I eat it, I will feel very bad, and from this understanding, the desire to eat disappears. As long as we think that it is delicious, that I want it, that I will eat it and feel good — as long as we think this way, our desire and our suffering grow, and to get rid of this suffering, we must eat this food. But realizing that the food can harm us outweighs its attractiveness.
Imagine how many such desires people have, which, as they know, lead to suffering. Desires and passions become the cause of their suffering, but people do not understand that in reality it is poison. Therefore, we must contemplate this, think, and use logic; only then can renunciation develop.
All these practices that I described earlier are vikkhambhana, the temporary elimination of kāma. Samuccheda, on the other hand, is not just a level of elimination; it is the complete eradication of kāma. For this, a person must fully understand reality, see the world as it is. If they have a supramundane understanding, they will understand what kāma is. This is the path to the complete elimination of kāma. And for this, again, the first thing needed is the right views, both for temporary elimination and for complete elimination.
First of all, we must get rid of apāyagāmi kamma, the kamma (or karma in Sanskrit) that leads to rebirth in lower realms. If we look at why beings are reborn in hells, it is because they want it, they agree to it. It is like being swept away by a current, and you want to grab onto anything, and there is a live wire: if you grab it, it means either death or great suffering. But people grab it without thinking because they want to hold onto something. At the time of death, a person does not want to die, they want to exist somehow, and out of their passion, out of their fear, even understanding where they are going, they agree to exist there, and their attachment directs them to that world. This is bhavataṇhā, the craving for existence. And why? Because a person cannot let go.
What are the right views in this case? They are the Four Noble Truths. We must understand suffering as the Buddha teaches us: saṅkhittena pañcupādānakkhandhā dukkhā — briefly, the five aggregates subject to clinging are suffering (Dhammacakkappavattanasutta: Setting in Motion the Wheel of the Dhamma, SN 56.11), if we look at the deepest level. Additionally, birth is suffering, aging is suffering, illness is suffering, death is suffering, union with the unpleasant is suffering, separation from the pleasant is suffering, not getting what is desired is suffering — this any person will understand, this is our ordinary suffering. But if a person wants to fully understand what suffering is, they must understand pañcupādānakkhandhā dukkhā: attachment to the five aggregates. Then a person can understand how kāma arises.
There is also this gatha: sankappa rago, purisassa kamo. Sankappa means concepts, thoughts; rago means passion; purisassa means for a person. Love (or passion) for concepts, for thoughtsthat is kāma for a person. In reality, all these kāma are concepts for us. Money, love, divine realms, whatever we considerin the end, these are all concepts of the mind for us, these are our thoughts.
Why do we say these are concepts when we can see them in the world? In actuality, there is some reality, but it is not the same as what is in my mind. For example, money is our concept, our agreement. But if we perceive reality through our senses, there is no difference between touching money and touching any other paper; there will just be some sensations of touch. When we look at something, the eye perceives only colors. So, where does money appear? In our mind. And not only in our mind but in everyone’s mind, so on a relative level in our human world, we assign meanings to things. But if we need to get rid of this, we must understand where it came from. If a person has complete understanding, they can see that although it exists in the mind, in primary reality, it does not exist.
Suppose we see a very beautiful person. Where is this beauty? This beauty is in the mind. If we touch something, we touch hardness, softness, warmth, and so on. If we see something, we see colors. In fact, in actuality, there is a different reality. And the Buddha teaches us that this reality can be seen in different ways to see our concepts. We can take this object and think of it as elements or as parts of the body. Then it becomes immediately clear that the parts of the body are the same for everyone, and there is no beauty there — beauty appeared in my mind: sankappa rago, purisassa kamo.
What do you think is the source of kāma? It is ignorance, avijjā. Due to ignorance, desire arises. If there is desire, then it means there is already kāma there — this is our ignorance. Ignorance means that we see the world incorrectly. We see the world as if it will bring us happiness. We see that in the world “I” exist and others exist. In reality, the senses are functioning. The ear functions, perceives sounds, ear consciousness arises, disappears, and on its basis, mind consciousness arises, using āsavā, using memory, the mind recognizes this sound, and due to ignorance, we think there is some being there. But all this arose in the mind, not in the external world. In the world, there was only sound, and it disappeared long ago. But through the sound, due to ignorance, a being, a person, kāma arose in the mind. Or through the eye, through the nose, through the tongue, through the body. But the primary reality is different.
When we say that we are living, what does it mean? It means that we have sense organs and objects of the sense organs. And now you can determine where these kāma are. These are not objects of the eye because the objects of the eye are colors, and colors are not kāma. The objects of the ear are sounds, and sounds are not kāma. The objects of the nose are just smells, and smells are not kāma. When we say, “this is a mango, this is an orange, this is an apple,” that is already kāma. In reality, there are just smells, tastes, and colors. Kāma is created by our ignorance. Even objects of the mind are not kāma. Objects of the mind are thoughts, how do thoughts become kāma? If we see thoughts as thoughts, concepts of the mind as concepts of the mind, then there is no kāma there. Kāma appears due to ignorance: we see our thoughts as people, as treasures, as external objects. And in this mirage, we live. But it is just a mirage!
Therefore, if a person needs to overcome kāma, they must first see that it is suffering. The cause of suffering is the craving that arises from ignorance. And if there is no craving and ignorance, then we have peace. If a person wants to go there, there is the Noble Eightfold Path.
The destruction of lust, the destruction of hatred, the destruction of delusion: this is called the Deathless. This Noble Eightfold Path is the path leading to the Deathless; that is, right view…right speech…right action…right livelihood…right effort…right mindfulness…right concentration.
Dutiyaaññatarabhikkhusutta: A Certain Bhikkhu (2), SN 45.7,
translation by Ven. Bhikkhu Bodhi
But the foundation of everything, where it all starts, is the right view. We need to understand: sankappa rago, purisassa kamo, all kāma are concepts for a person. See kāma as the head of a snake, as poison, as honey on a razor’s edge. Go carefully, vigilantly, do not suffer. I wish you success in your practice, may these merits from studying the Dhamma help you attain Nibbāna!
“By what is the world afflicted?
By what is it enveloped?
By what dart has it been wounded?
With what is it always burning?”
“The world is afflicted with death,
Enveloped by old age;
Wounded by the dart of craving,
It is always burning with desire.”
Attahatasutta: Afflicted (SN 1.66),
translation by Ven. Bhikkhu Bodhi
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